Hello people!
Back with a random wordy post, im feeling kind of... realistic recently. And when i say realistic, i meant living in the reality. I used to be a day dreamer, its like my #1 activity if i were to rank what i most did in a day. But recently, i dont day dream that often anymore. Its because i came to realise that what are dreams stay as dreams. Well, it wont if they came true, but that will only happen with the presence of: opportunities, chances, hope, hardwork and courage. And out of the 5 factors, i only have one: hardwork. If i were given a chance to do whatever that i have dreamt of, i would put in over a 100% of effort in it, if that is possible. I remember a saying that goes like this: "Dont expect opportunities to come to you, fight for it." And the factor courage comes in, i definitely do not have the courage to pursue my dreams/intended goals. In fear of failure, shame, embarrassment, lack of support, and the list goes on... And fear comes from a lack of confidence, which is something that i really really really really really need to work on. I can't emphasise more on that, I NEED SOME CONFIDENCE. Well, i did improve ALOT within these 2-3 years, but its still not enough for me to.. be myself, and feel good about myself.
I used to have high hopes and expectations about life, but as i grew up, i felt the pressure to conform to this current society's standards. With that, I cleared my dreams aside and half-heartedly prepared myself to do the things that everyone thinks i'm supposed to do, go where they think i should go, and be what everyone thinks i should be. At the end of the day, everyone's not themselves.
I have alot of thoughts that i would wish to share, but i guess i would spare you guys the rant. Until next time!
xoxo,
Nico
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